Some of you know that I've had a really hard time for the past few months with Delight being a serial 30 minute napper. She consistently has taken 30 minute naps, almost every nap, since she was 4 months old. This has been a big point of stress in my life and has seemed to make everything harder. I have spent a lot of time online looking for solutions, bought a few books that cover the topic and tried every idea I can get my hands on. Nothing seems to work with that girl. The last few weeks I’ve pretty much stayed home determined if I could focus on getting her on a consistent nap schedule I could have a life again. I think I did the exact opposite. It certainly made us both miserable. I think her naps aren’t so much the problem then me thinking they’re a problem is a problem. I keep looking at the norm, and at what my friend’s babies do that I’ve forgotten that D is an individual and that if she only wants to sleep 30 minutes, by golly, that’s what she’s going to do. I know that when she’s had more sleep she seems like a happier baby. She’s not grumpy all the time or anything, just seems like she can’t stay awake for very long with these short naps before she's getting fussy. I’ve thought on, worried about and cried about this problem for too long! It’s robbed me of a lot of joy and enjoying my little girl. I came to a few conclusions this weekend that have made a huge difference in my week so far.
There’s nothing I can do to make her sleep more. Believe me, I’ve tried it all.
She’s healthy, she’s happy, she’s beautiful and I’m so blessed to have her, so I better stop worrying and start enjoying her!
I have to stop trying to get her on a nap schedule and just let her sleep when she’s tired. She’s tired more often with 30 min naps, so when she starts the eye rubbing, that’s when I lay her down, not when the clock says. I never followed the clock real close, but I would think, oh you can't be tired all ready, and push her to stay up a little longer. Most the time she only stays up
1 ½ hours, but I don’t care now! If that’s what works for her, that’s what works for me.
I have to get over my guilty parent syndrome. Since I don’t get that nice 2 hour chunk of time that babies normally sleep, I have trouble getting things done. Being a big list person, this also stresses me out. I have this guilt that when she’s up I should be spending time with her. It’s good to spend time with her, but I know I need to back off and let her play more independently. When she does have a whiney day and I can’t very far from her, I’ve got my Hotsling and Moby wrap to help me out :)
With all the frequent naps, for me to ever be able to leave the house and have a life, she’s going to have to learn to sleep on the go better. She’s done well lately and I’m encouraged. She slept in her Moby wrap at church Sunday, and I got her to go to sleep in her car seat at the grocery store today.
I’ll tell you, with my new view of things and being relaxed, I’ve had the best couple days with her these last two days that I can remember. I’ve had so much fun with her. She’s at such a fun age right now. She makes me laugh all the time and I’ve just been so happy being a mom. And you know what? She’s napped better too! Today she took a 1 ½ hour nap (thought I would faint) AND a 45 minute nap, on top of her two 30 minute naps she took. Yesterday she took a 45 min nap.
Was God trying to teach me something? Was Delight just needing me to follow her cues better? I don’t know, but both have happened. I know we’ll still have our ups and downs, but I’m glad to put all my worrying behind me and have a new attitude. Maybe she'll learn to take those 2 hour naps someday, but even if she doesn't we'll be just fine.
I’m so in love with my little girl and so thankful that God has entrusted her to Sam and I.
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13 years ago
4 comments:
Nikki!!! I haven't been on here in a while, and it was great to read this post. If you hadn't already figured it out, I would have told you just what you have come to realize all on your own. And it is good for me to remind myself that these beautiful children God has blessed us with know quite a lot about what they need if we will just pay attention to them and our instincts....and not so much attention to books and clocks! I am quite sure you are an amazing mom and Delight is so blessed to have you and Sam as her parents. Can't wait to get together one day and let the little ones play!
p.s. forgot to mention that I came to these conclusions the hard way when C was little too. It is soooo much less stressful/guilt inducing the second time around :)
Thanks Barb! Yeah, you just feel like you need to follow the books closely to be a good parent when what you really need to do is relax and do what you think is best! Glad to hear it's easier the next time around :)
i think that the real lesson is just being happy being a mom. today cail was puling my hair trying to brush it with her toy (????dont ask where she gets these weird ideas) and i told her to be gentle she shouted at me no! i put her in time out and she screamed and cried for about 5 min. she was just sobbing mommy mommy mommy over and over. when i went to get her out of time out she ran to me and cuddled up close. i asked her why she was in time out and she says through the tears because i wanted to play with mommy. oh i about started to cry too. she was so upset because i didnt have time for her. she sat there and cuddled me for a while and sang with me and we both felt better. i realized then that playing with her is just as important as all the other important things i was doing today and i missed out. i need to learn to be happy with the small things and have fun being a mom!!!! (hey i think i am going to post that story on my blog sorry so long winded)
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